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12 Things I’ve Learned From Grindr

When we finished he said he wanted to walk home and would see me later. But what about the tricks that were less than magical and in fact were downright vomit-bag-friendly? People have had so much to say about Mapplethorpe and yet the person we have heard from the least is Mapplethorpe himself. If he actually meets anybody, that could be a legal nightmare for the person too.

He asked what brought this on. His profile said he was 33 years old.

12 Things I’ve Learned From Grindr - He came over and we were going to hang out.

He had dolls in glass cases all over the house, including his bedroom. After leading me to the bedroom, he spent 30 minutes making a playlist for us to have sex to… The music was the best part of the sex. I ejaculated to 'MMMBop' by Hansen. I really liked him, and we ended up getting a hotel room and sleeping together. We continued texting for a few days, when he told me he knew my mum. He looked exactly like his pictures and was extremely attractive. When we got to the casino, he demanded a security escort because he was ' Justin Bieber's cousin' and was worried about paparazzi and guests bothering him. We walked around the hotel for 20 minutes with the guard escorting us until the manager told us to leave. I ignored it, so he started sending me pictures he'd taken of me in bars, saunas, and the gym. A few days later, he started sending me messgages like ' nice shirt today', ' good time on the treadmill today', ' loved the new restaurant you tried. While waiting for our food, he was biting his nails. Five minutes later he grabs my hand and says, 'You have really pretty nails. I can even nibble on your toenails then. So naturally, all dosed up on Night Nurse, I logged onto Grindr. Mixed with alcohol, I blacked out and when I came round I was at some guy's house in a Marvel Onesie being asked to leave. He offered to make me dinner at my place, so I invited him over. Considering the large amount of leftovers, I sent him home with my cake pan full of the mac 'n' cheese he'd made. I told him he could just set it outside my door in the night. Three months later, I came home to the pan wedged up next to my door, not even washed from the mac 'n' cheese. A few days later he came over and we watched a movie, made out, and maybe a little more. A week later, we went on a second date and after a few hours he said, ' I have a boyfriend. I really like you but I think we should stop talking to each other. The worst first date. We ended up on our phones for the last 10 minutes. I was checking my fantasy football scores whilst he unbeknownst to me was posting a picture of me on his Instagram, captioned his 'worst first date'. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, he abruptly turned around and said, 'Are we going back to your place to fuck already?